I've never been technology minded. As long as the computer does what I want it to do I'm happy, which is usually nothing more than to let me email, surf the net and word process... anything else and I'm flumoxed. And yes, I'm the same when it comes to mobiles; fancy applications for this, that and the other are wasted on me - all I want to do is make a call or send a text.
My other half, however, loves his smartphone. Not that he's an expert, but what he lacks in knowledge he certainly makes up for in enthusiasm.
At first, it was the quality of the photos he could take that excited him, but then he discovered downloadable apps. This is when he realised not only could he take pictures, he could also create pictorial collages and despite being no David Bailey he set about putting quite a few compositions together. From dogs, to our children, to me, can you believe? And rather proud of his achievements, he insisted I view each and every single one of them. However, there are only so many images of the family pet a woman can look at before they all start to get a bit samey... and not being the best model in the world, I struggle to see anything positive in individual pictures of myself, let alone having loads of them staring back at me, all at the same time!
But like any caring wife, I simply smiled politely and told him how wonderful his creations were... Big Mistake!
Because that's when he decided to take his new found talent one step further - now moving on to producing slide shows with these rather dodgy photos; slide shows that came with music! Oh yes, he went from collage to montage... his snapshots now fading in and out with some sentimental tune playing in the background, themed special effects included as standard.
Much to my frustration, I again became one of his favourite subjects, but before you all go thinking I'm just being mean, have you ever tried emailing these things? No...? Well let me tell you my other half has and they take absolutely forever to attach. But guess what, growing ever more confident in his technology skills Robert found a much quicker way to enable me to enjoy his latest photographic conceptions... By uploading the damn things onto Youtube!
Now you can only imagine my reaction when I was told that not only did I have the mispleasure of viewing my not so photographic self, but that everyone on the World Wide Web did too! And of course, after a fair bit of screaming at him to take them off he duly did, thank goodness. Nevertheless, it would seem the story doesn't end there.
Just when I thought I'd saved not just me, but also all of you from my other half's extraordinary visions of loveliness, he tells me he's now discovered Pinterest!